My Hypnosis Experience: The First Time I Saw God.
Does God exist? What is God like? What is His plan? I’m a curious girl who always has a lot of big questions and strange ideas in my head. I thought I was crazy but when I got to San Francisco, that changed.
If you live in San Francisco for a while, you will meet many crazy people who think differently: humanists or anti-humanists, people who plan to create their own “Matrix”, who want to get out of this “Matrix”, who want to put their bodies to sleep before waking up after a century, and who play different genders on different days. Most of them are not really crazy. They are only exploring themselves and challenging what was normal. A year ago, I also started my journey to understand myself and the world.
Spiritual exploration was especially popular in San Francisco. It was very easy to find spiritual experiences. Meditation and yoga were prevailing. I could hear the word “chakras” in daily discussion. And random people would tell me his recent psychedelic drug experiences.
One day, I encountered Philip, a former hypnotist. I asked if he could do a hypnosis session with me. As an exchange, I would make art for him. He agreed. I had no idea what I to expect before going to his house. In TV shows, the hypnotist is often the bad guy who turns people into will-less creatures and exerts control over them. I didn’t worry too much that would happen to me because I talked with him for a while first. Besides hypnosis, he raised bees and had a few volunteer jobs in the city. He was easy to talk with and very open about his beliefs. He asked me to think about what I wanted to get from it before I came.
I am interested in the world and how it works. Art is my tool to understand the world. I use symbols to analyze meanings, and I put these pieces of information in a box in my mind. I told him, I wanted to know more about my box — the box I built to understand people and events around me.
He synchronized with me by starting a casual conversation about life. I told him my week was great and I had just hosted a great party. We also discussed problems I have recently encountered in my life. I told him I’d been questioning the existence of God. I shared my confusion with him.
Philip listened to me very carefully. He then told me to close my eyes. He guided me to do a breathing meditation, and I gradually entered into a deep meditative state. I was still aware of my existence and surroundings.
He asked me to imagine that I was in another time and space. He started to lead my journey with questions.
-Who are you? What are you doing?
I am a pig playing in the mud. Sometimes, I go to the lake with my duck friends. But we’ve never gone to the forbidden area where the crocodiles and sharks live.
-Are there any humans?
Yes, a human sometimes comes to visit us occasionally but he doesn’t want other people to know us because he is afraid other people will take us away and eat us if they find this place.
-If you zoom out, what can you see?
Our village is super small. You can barely see our village in the larger picture. A dragon, possibly God, is looking at a map. Our buildings and activities are all on this map.
-What is he doing?
He came upon this map somewhere and he found that the map was not only animated but also interactive. He found it interesting, so he took it with him. Every day, he makes this map slightly more interesting by adding new information. He only looks at the map in the morning because he has other things to do. He meditates and cultivates his garden. When he looks at the map, he examines everywhere very carefully and helps lost children to find their parents.
-Where can you find his information?
One day, I found his poster on a wall.
I go back home and find a golden egg in the toilet.
The golden egg breaks. A baby dragon is born.
Then a frog suddenly appeared. I got confused and unsettled. I asked Philip for help. He asked if they were both companions or either of them was a distraction. I told him the frog was the distraction. Philip told me not to worry and just asked the frog to go away. The frog went away and I was with my dragon again.
The dragon grew bigger and bigger. He put me on his back and flew into the sky to take me on a tour all around the world.
-Where did it take you? What can you see?
It took me everywhere. I saw poor people and wealthy people. I saw what their lives are like.
I told Philip I got bored with my box. He said okay. I could burn it or do anything I want with it. I put it in the fridge. Now I was a human again. I put the box with the pig narrative all in the fridge.
- Is the dragon still there?
Yes, it stands right beside me. We are cooking together. He can breathe fire to light the stove.
It was near the end of my hypnosis session. Philip said I could take the dragon back with me but I needed to ask for its permission. The dragon nodded and followed me back to the real world. Philip counted down the number. I woke up.
It was a great experience. I explored my will and the boundary of my mind. The whole process was smooth and refreshing. Philip gave me the space to create my experience. A few times when I got stuck, Philip told me to trust myself because my soul knew all the answers. This hypnosis session was one of my best spiritual experiences in San Francisco. There were no drumming, mysterious rituals, or drug involved, just diving into my mind with the help of a hypnotist.
The pig’s journey is like my own journey. I am on my path to adventure through the world to pursue truth and wisdom. When I first lived in Beijing, I only hung out with a few trusted friends who shared similar values and beliefs. Our education was focused on science and pragmatic knowledge. I didn’t know anything about Nietzsche, Plato, Ralph Waldo Emerson, or Idealism, just like the pig kept herself in the safe area with her duck friends and had never been to the dangerous crocodile area. The human took the pig outside but was always afraid that other humans would eat her. The dragon of wisdom brought me to San Francisco. San Francisco opened my mind to get in touch with people from different culture, ages, and backgrounds. I even hung out with homeless people for a few weeks. I thought homeless people in San Francisco were optimistic and loving. I even received a few abandoned books by Shakespeare and John Stuart Mill from them. I went to rich people’s parties. Some of them loved art; some of them talked about technology trends and effective altruism. The dragon of wisdom carried me to see all of these things.
Of course, there were obstacles and distraction. Like the frog in my hypnosis journey, there were people who stopped me and discouraged me, but I didn’t let their voices stop me from pursuing my truth.
I’ve depicted dragons in multiple of my paintings. Why did I see the dragon as the form of God in my hypnosis session? Let’s look at the symbolic meaning of the dragon in different cultures. In Asia, the dragon is often the symbol of good luck and dignity. The Emperor of China wore robes with dragon motif as an imperial symbol. In Europe, dragons were fierce creatures that looked after treasures. Swiss psychologist Carl Jung saw the ouroboros(a dragon eating its own tail) as the archetype of the unconscious mind. Philosophers and historians all have their own interpretations of dragons. The dragon is a divine creature living in our imagination. I see the dragon as a sign of knowledge and wisdom.
The dragon in my hypnosis session took me to see the world. A real God may or may not exist. I do believe that our unconscious mind is creating the universe and the divine part of us has the infinite potential to create a world that we want. This is why my God was a dragon.
This is the portrait I made for Philip to specially thank him for his hypnosis session.
